We had a train painting station... and our cupcakes.
He was 40 inches tall (54%)
33.5 lbs (28%)
and 20/30 vision and they did a hearing test but I can't decipher the results. :-)
He is perfect! :)
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Joe is FOUR!
We had a train painting station... and our cupcakes.
He was 40 inches tall (54%)
33.5 lbs (28%)
and 20/30 vision and they did a hearing test but I can't decipher the results. :-)
He is perfect! :)
Chameleon
Hi, my name is Jessica and I am a people pleaser.
I think I have always been a people pleaser and probably always will be. I think it stems from a fairly low self esteem when I was younger and then it just became second nature. I don't have such a low self esteem now, however, I still hate to have people mad or upset with me for any reason. Even people I don't care for.
In being this people pleaser... I think that I tend to chameleon myself to whichever person I am with at the time. If you are someone who only uses "green" products and organic produce... I tailor my "passions" to that person. Of course I only shop at central market and only buy all natural products. Look how environmentally conscious I am.
If I am hanging out with someone who only buys prada bags and loves $100 shoes... well, look at my fine Italian leather boots (no worries that I bought them ten years ago and they were on sale). Of course I can spend $100 on dinner and it's only a Tuesday.
If you are a mother that disciplines her child a certain way and your child minds all the time... well let me show you how good of a mother I am. Of course I don't spank my child and I NEVER put him in time out and let him out immediately because he tells me "I love you mommy! I sorry mommy!" Of course I don't let him have a paci and he's four. I would NEVER do that.
I am making some extreme examples and some or none of them are true. But I think in trying to keep or get people to like me... I sometimes say what I think they want me to say, be who I think they want me to be... and not necessarily what I am really thinking or who I really am.
This isn't a conscious thing that I do... I am not deliberately setting out to deceive people... I just tailor my comments and actions to the people that I am with... but all of a sudden (and with some very smart people's insight)... I realized that I'm not sure that I know how *I* feel about anything. How sad is that?
How DO I feel about being environmentally conscious? DO I really give a rats ass about prada handbags? Do I really even like to go camping or is my idea of roughing it a hotel with no coffee maker? What kind of parent DO I want to be and am I being that person? What kind of friend do I want to be? The one that tells you what you want to hear or the one that tells you my honest and true opinion.
I think I am a fraud.
But I don't want to be a fraud any more... I am throwing my gauntlet down and saying... my new years resolution (I know, I know... it's June) is going to be to work on being more authentic. I still want to be liked and I really DO care what YOU think of me... but hopefully you will like the authentic me even better and I will still work to make each and every one of you feel better and good about yourself. :-)
I want you to feel better for knowing me not that knowing me means I change colors depending on if I am with you or your neighbor. You may need to help me with this when I fall back on old behaviors. :-)
Hi, my name is Jessica and I am no longer going to be a chameleon.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Jocelyn check in...
5~3~11 (hospital measurements)
Age: Birth
Weight: 8 lbs 12 oz
Length: 21 1/4 inches
Clothing size: Newborn but she lost a lot of weight.
Eating: Just breastmilk
5~9~11 (first pedi visit)
Age: 6 days
Weight: 7 lbs 15.5 oz
Length: didn't check
Clothing size: Newborn although her feet were kinda pushing the end
Eating: Just breastmilk
Sleeping: She's a really good sleeper... sleeping minimum of 3 hours at a time.
5~16~11 (second pedi visit but actual first 2 week appt)
Age: 13 days (I was a day early for my appt... damn you mommy brain)
Weight: 7 lbs 15.5 oz... not a single oz gained which worried the pedi and means another trip for a weight check. (39.12th percentile)
Length: 21 1/2 inches (90th percentile)
Head size: 14.5 (76th percentile)
Clothing size: Newborn
Eating: Breastmilk but with an ounce of formula mixed in with bottle of pumped milk after nursing.
Sleeping: well... she had been sleeping well but the doctor was worried that it was actually because she was lethargic from not enough calories. :(
5~19~11 (weight check)
Age: 16 days
Weight: 8 lbs 5 oz.. YIPEE!
Clothing Size: Newborn but a few 0-3's thrown in
Eating: Back to just breastmilk (yay)
sleeping... still a good sleeper. :)
Age: Birth
Weight: 8 lbs 12 oz
Length: 21 1/4 inches
Clothing size: Newborn but she lost a lot of weight.
Eating: Just breastmilk
5~9~11 (first pedi visit)
Age: 6 days
Weight: 7 lbs 15.5 oz
Length: didn't check
Clothing size: Newborn although her feet were kinda pushing the end
Eating: Just breastmilk
Sleeping: She's a really good sleeper... sleeping minimum of 3 hours at a time.
5~16~11 (second pedi visit but actual first 2 week appt)
Age: 13 days (I was a day early for my appt... damn you mommy brain)
Weight: 7 lbs 15.5 oz... not a single oz gained which worried the pedi and means another trip for a weight check. (39.12th percentile)
Length: 21 1/2 inches (90th percentile)
Head size: 14.5 (76th percentile)
Clothing size: Newborn
Eating: Breastmilk but with an ounce of formula mixed in with bottle of pumped milk after nursing.
Sleeping: well... she had been sleeping well but the doctor was worried that it was actually because she was lethargic from not enough calories. :(
5~19~11 (weight check)
Age: 16 days
Weight: 8 lbs 5 oz.. YIPEE!
Clothing Size: Newborn but a few 0-3's thrown in
Eating: Back to just breastmilk (yay)
sleeping... still a good sleeper. :)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Welcome to the World Jocelyn Anne, May 3, 2011
So... many of you already know that I delivered Joseph by C-section four years ago. It was the birth that I needed to have but not the one I expected to have. I felt like I didn't have any choices and I always wondered if I gave in too early. Irrational or rational... I wanted to try for a vaginal birth after c-section (vbac) and I found a doctor in Fort worth that would work with me.
I had a text book pregnancy. Ran my half marathon at 16 weeks and continued to exercise throughout. I ate right (for the most part) and loved being pregnant. I even savored each second because I knew that I wouldn't be pregnant forever and chances are good that I won't be pregnant again.
I had some symptoms but nothing major. I dry heaved every single morning when I had an empty stomach. I had some heartburn. The usual hormone levels. :) But I really loved being pregnant. My last trimester everyone kept telling me how big I was... when I really just didn't feel that big. I hadn't put on much weight and I really felt like I wasn't that big... until I turned sideways and then... well then I felt big. :-)
My last two weeks though... I was really done. I was ready to meet my daughter. I was tired of being pregnant and really... I kind of hurt all over. My 39 week appt... Dr. Carrington told me that he would strip my membranes (which sounds a whole lot worse than it is) and if it didn't send me into labor then we had my c-section scheduled for Wednesday, May 4th. I went in a day early to have him look at my breathing as a cold had hit me like a mack truck. He went ahead and stripped the membranes which kind of felt like he was checking my tonsils from the lower regions up. He was done and we left. Mom, Jami and I. We went to run errands. We hit all of the stores we wanted to go to and picked up Joe and headed home.
I filled my prescription and Jason picked it up... I took the two pills and about 5:00 my contractions started. Like real... honest to goodness... contractions. I started timing them. We all had dinner together, I took a bath, went for a walk with my dad and came home. I couldn't sleep but Jason did... and he needed it. I stayed up with my mom and watched television and breathed through the contractions.
By 3:00 am I felt like they were pretty painful. So... Jason woke up and we headed to the hospital to be checked. That morning I was at 1 cm... when we got checked in and checked... I was at 2 cm. I got there a bit early... but they hooked me up to the monitors so I could hear her heartbeat. About 7:00 am, my doctor came in and got my IV started so he could break my water. When he did there was meconium in her fluid... so we did an amnio flush and kept going.
I got to about a 5 when I asked for the epi.. because at this point I was wanting to chew the arm rest off my bed. Baby J was hanging out on a nerve on my back which was KILLING me! My anesthesiologist came in and was amazing... he gave me the epi laying down. (apparently one of few that can do this). Jason was a champ and talked me through each of the contractions leading up to it and was just awesome. Baby girl was handling it all very well.
I had to have a couple of boosters to my epi because she was laying on a spot on my back and it was KILLING me. I had been dry heaving all day which was fun... but a continuation of my pregnancy.
:-/ I was starving which was no surprise. But... my doctor was fantastic. The nurses were great... my family was there, my inlaws had arrived. All in all... things were good. :) I made it to a 6 and a 7... the evening got foggy as I was SOOOO tired!
When my doc came in about 7:00 pm and told me I was a 9 but that her head was stuck at the edge of my pelvic bone... that I could continue on because she was handling it ok... but that it would be hard and long... I said.. I'm done. Again, it was about 7:00 pm and I had been laboring since 5:00 pm the night before.
SOOOOOOO... they gave me this horrible drink that I drank and threw up. They explained what all was going to happen and they wheeled me in to the OR. My doc called in his A team since we weren't in an emergent situation. We got the chance to take family pics...
Long story that is already a long story... they got me into the OR, got me hooked up to the drugs and prepped. When they got me open, I noticed an unusual amount of tugging and pulling. I mentioned that I could feel it and the anesthesiologist said she couldn't do anything more until they got her out.
But apparently I had adhesions where with the first c-section... my uterus had stuck to the bladder and perinatal wall in large sections (picture fly paper stuck together) and he had to navigate these adhesions to cut me open to get her out. He said he had to separate the layers as gently as he could but there was SOOO much pressure as he pushed and pulled my uterus ( I think it may have swung over to England for a visit)... and I had the epi but they couldn't give me anything more without giving it to her too... so I just had to deal with the pressure and the pain.
When they finally got her out, it took her a bit to start crying. (scared Jason half to death) but she finally gave a squeak and a squawk. They told Jason to start taking pictures. I got to see her and hear her and see that she weighed 8 lbs and 12 oz.. OMG and was 21 1/4 inches long. Born at 8:09 pm. Although we are wondering if her weight was maybe off because of all of the fluids they had to pump me with all day. But... that is her weight on record. :)
Because of the pain and exhaustion... they gave me something that knocked me out for the hour it took to put everything back in it's proper location and close me back up and like a lightbulb I woke up just in time to go to my room. Amazing these doctors.
They took me back to my labor room, brought her in with me... before ever cleaning her up (so different than with Joe but so important to me) and let me nurse her and hold her. She came out wanting to nurse... I guess that's what happens with a chunky baby. I wish I could remember it all. HA! I finally got a drink!!! :-)
The parents all got to hold her and take pictures then they all left.
They took her for her bath... she didn't like it!
They wheeled me to my new room and brought her to me again... Jason stayed for a while... but I was SOOO exhausted that Jason went on home to sleep and be with Joe... and I got that time to rest. They did bring her to me to nurse but I sent her back to sleep some more... plus I was VERY sore. In fact... hindsight... having someone there to help with her that first night would have been nice as it was hard to even sit up let alone move the baby. :-}
The hardest part was the coughing... I still had the horrendous cold. And who wants to cough when you are held together with sutures?
They kept me an extra day due to fever and high pulse rate... which was fine. I needed the rest. Joe came to visit each day and I would keep her during the day (sending her back for quiet time) and then at night.
Joe is doing GREAT and is excited to have a sister... and Jason is enamored as am I. Recovery has been a bit slower and she lost quite a bit of weight... but she is now on the upswing and we are home and loving being a family of 4. :-)
I had a text book pregnancy. Ran my half marathon at 16 weeks and continued to exercise throughout. I ate right (for the most part) and loved being pregnant. I even savored each second because I knew that I wouldn't be pregnant forever and chances are good that I won't be pregnant again.
I had some symptoms but nothing major. I dry heaved every single morning when I had an empty stomach. I had some heartburn. The usual hormone levels. :) But I really loved being pregnant. My last trimester everyone kept telling me how big I was... when I really just didn't feel that big. I hadn't put on much weight and I really felt like I wasn't that big... until I turned sideways and then... well then I felt big. :-)
My last two weeks though... I was really done. I was ready to meet my daughter. I was tired of being pregnant and really... I kind of hurt all over. My 39 week appt... Dr. Carrington told me that he would strip my membranes (which sounds a whole lot worse than it is) and if it didn't send me into labor then we had my c-section scheduled for Wednesday, May 4th. I went in a day early to have him look at my breathing as a cold had hit me like a mack truck. He went ahead and stripped the membranes which kind of felt like he was checking my tonsils from the lower regions up. He was done and we left. Mom, Jami and I. We went to run errands. We hit all of the stores we wanted to go to and picked up Joe and headed home.
I filled my prescription and Jason picked it up... I took the two pills and about 5:00 my contractions started. Like real... honest to goodness... contractions. I started timing them. We all had dinner together, I took a bath, went for a walk with my dad and came home. I couldn't sleep but Jason did... and he needed it. I stayed up with my mom and watched television and breathed through the contractions.
By 3:00 am I felt like they were pretty painful. So... Jason woke up and we headed to the hospital to be checked. That morning I was at 1 cm... when we got checked in and checked... I was at 2 cm. I got there a bit early... but they hooked me up to the monitors so I could hear her heartbeat. About 7:00 am, my doctor came in and got my IV started so he could break my water. When he did there was meconium in her fluid... so we did an amnio flush and kept going.
I got to about a 5 when I asked for the epi.. because at this point I was wanting to chew the arm rest off my bed. Baby J was hanging out on a nerve on my back which was KILLING me! My anesthesiologist came in and was amazing... he gave me the epi laying down. (apparently one of few that can do this). Jason was a champ and talked me through each of the contractions leading up to it and was just awesome. Baby girl was handling it all very well.
I had to have a couple of boosters to my epi because she was laying on a spot on my back and it was KILLING me. I had been dry heaving all day which was fun... but a continuation of my pregnancy.
:-/ I was starving which was no surprise. But... my doctor was fantastic. The nurses were great... my family was there, my inlaws had arrived. All in all... things were good. :) I made it to a 6 and a 7... the evening got foggy as I was SOOOO tired!
When my doc came in about 7:00 pm and told me I was a 9 but that her head was stuck at the edge of my pelvic bone... that I could continue on because she was handling it ok... but that it would be hard and long... I said.. I'm done. Again, it was about 7:00 pm and I had been laboring since 5:00 pm the night before.
SOOOOOOO... they gave me this horrible drink that I drank and threw up. They explained what all was going to happen and they wheeled me in to the OR. My doc called in his A team since we weren't in an emergent situation. We got the chance to take family pics...
Long story that is already a long story... they got me into the OR, got me hooked up to the drugs and prepped. When they got me open, I noticed an unusual amount of tugging and pulling. I mentioned that I could feel it and the anesthesiologist said she couldn't do anything more until they got her out.
But apparently I had adhesions where with the first c-section... my uterus had stuck to the bladder and perinatal wall in large sections (picture fly paper stuck together) and he had to navigate these adhesions to cut me open to get her out. He said he had to separate the layers as gently as he could but there was SOOO much pressure as he pushed and pulled my uterus ( I think it may have swung over to England for a visit)... and I had the epi but they couldn't give me anything more without giving it to her too... so I just had to deal with the pressure and the pain.
When they finally got her out, it took her a bit to start crying. (scared Jason half to death) but she finally gave a squeak and a squawk. They told Jason to start taking pictures. I got to see her and hear her and see that she weighed 8 lbs and 12 oz.. OMG and was 21 1/4 inches long. Born at 8:09 pm. Although we are wondering if her weight was maybe off because of all of the fluids they had to pump me with all day. But... that is her weight on record. :)
Because of the pain and exhaustion... they gave me something that knocked me out for the hour it took to put everything back in it's proper location and close me back up and like a lightbulb I woke up just in time to go to my room. Amazing these doctors.
They took me back to my labor room, brought her in with me... before ever cleaning her up (so different than with Joe but so important to me) and let me nurse her and hold her. She came out wanting to nurse... I guess that's what happens with a chunky baby. I wish I could remember it all. HA! I finally got a drink!!! :-)
The parents all got to hold her and take pictures then they all left.
They wheeled me to my new room and brought her to me again... Jason stayed for a while... but I was SOOO exhausted that Jason went on home to sleep and be with Joe... and I got that time to rest. They did bring her to me to nurse but I sent her back to sleep some more... plus I was VERY sore. In fact... hindsight... having someone there to help with her that first night would have been nice as it was hard to even sit up let alone move the baby. :-}
The hardest part was the coughing... I still had the horrendous cold. And who wants to cough when you are held together with sutures?
Wednesday Morning Jason brought Joe up to meet his baby sister.
My inlaws came before they headed back to lufkin. And of course my parents were around and Uncle Todd.
They kept me an extra day due to fever and high pulse rate... which was fine. I needed the rest. Joe came to visit each day and I would keep her during the day (sending her back for quiet time) and then at night.
Joe is doing GREAT and is excited to have a sister... and Jason is enamored as am I. Recovery has been a bit slower and she lost quite a bit of weight... but she is now on the upswing and we are home and loving being a family of 4. :-)
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Happy birthday to my sweet boy!
Dear Joe,
I can't believe that it's been four years since you've been born. Four years ago right now, I was being prepped for my c-section and I was scared. Not scared of having you but of the surgery and making sure you were ok.
Before you were born I always thought about what we would teach you and if we could teach you... But I think it's the opposite... I think you have taught me so much. You have taught me what its like to love unconditionally. You have taught me the merits of playing with hair to soothe an anxious heart. Dancing in the rain is fun and nothing can compare to a train whistle or hearing the conductor say "All aboard!". Train rides MUST be accompanied with popcorn and sody pop!
Friends are vital and that being each other's best friend can change based on which guitar you get. A cookie can solve most of life's problems although wine will work for mommy too. :-).
All in all, sweet boy... You made me a mommy and I love you more than the air I breathe. you have turned into an amazing little human I am proud to call son!!!!!
Love you,
Mommy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)