North to New York City

About a month ago, I got an email from my mother in law asking if I wanted to go to new York city with her. She has conferences the whole time, so I will mostly be on my own... But it's a free hotel room.

My first response was no.... We just have too much going on for me to go. But I mentioned it to my dad first, (jason was out making sales calls) and was surprised to hear him say... You should go. So I "humphed" and then went back to work... Sure that I still wasn't going.

I then mentioned it to Jason and he surprisingly said... Absolutely!!! You have to go!

Lastly, I ran it past my mother and she was the trifecta. I haven't been away from Jocelyn for any period of time, let alone four days, and I could use a wee bit of me time. However, I let the $$ be the guide.

I went online and found a flight for $171 including taxes.... And that sealed the deal.

So, here I am with my layover in Detroit.... I've walked around, gotten a gourmet peanut butter and jelly sandwich for later and had sushi with an adult beverage for now. And I did it all with my book. I read my book.... While eating.....

Now don't get me wrong... I miss my kids and hubby. But I know that he's having a great time with them.... Taking them to the train and a birthday party.... He's been looking forward to some time with Jocelyn and I know they'll do great without me. :-)).

As for me? I'm going to sleep and run and take the subway and go on a foods of new York tour of Greenwich village and go to the 911 memorial. And sleep and eat, and see a show or two.... Quite possibly by myself or maybe with some old ship friends or friends from high school or maybe even college.

You know what? I can do anything! :-). And when I get home I will be refreshed and ready to see my hubby and my beautiful children and be called "mommy" again. :-)

Thank you to all that made it possible.... Said in my best "Grammy" voice.

Long Time No See... Balance

I cannot believe it's been almost a month since I last blogged.  Things have been a bit nuts though...  

We opened our doors to Cement Colors, Houston on January 2nd and the way we set it up was to have me in the office Monday - Thursday and Jason on the road selling.  Then on Friday, he's in the office and I'm with Jocelyn (who is in daycare Tues, Wed and Thurs).  Well getting up throughout the night with Jocelyn (usually only once) and getting up with Joe who is now in his own bed (but asks me to walk him back several times) is for the birds when you have to get up at 6:00 am to get everyone ready and yourself to be out the door by 7:30 am.  :)  

I work until about 4:15 and then usually head to get the kids (because we only have one car seat and base for Littlest J) and get home... I try to go for a run, Jason goes for a run, dinner, bath, bed, collapse.  No time for blogging.  Shoot, no time for anything.  

So, I am trying to find a balance.  

  A new reality, if you will.  A new reality that includes working for Cement Colors, working for ChemSystems, being a mom and wife, being a daughter and a friend.  A sister to my two half sisters and an aunt to my beautiful niece.  And a runner... a marathoner again.  

There's a saying that says if you want something done... ask a busy person.  I find this to be true, however... a sleep deprived busy person is one who forgets a lot easier...  

I am going to New York City with my mother in law though... in two weeks.  I can't wait.  I plan on refilling my personal "well" and really catching up on sleep and running and reading.  I am so excited and a bit anxious about leaving my babies.  Not because my hubby can't take care of them...  but just because I haven't left my littlest J for any stretch of time.  

It will be good for me and good for them.  :)  

For now...  balance.  I'll work on it when things settle down a bit.  :)  

No way to sugar coat it...

This has been one shitty month.  The goods have been good... but man oh man the bads suck big hairy monkey balls! 

I lost my kitty last night.  

Dezi was unhappy being an inside kitty.  He had wanderlust but never wandered all that far.  He stayed close to home and used the doggy door with Murphey to go in and out.  

He made it through all of the New Years Eve festivities and finally crawled under Jocelyn's crib to go to sleep and hide from the fireworks.  

He must have wandered out on Sunday afternoon and from here... I don't know.  all I do know is that last night around 10:00 pm, I got a call that he had been brought into an emergency animal hospital.  He had been hit by a car and was very very very cold.  So I don't know how long he had been laying there on the side of the road.  

They did an ex ray and determined that his spine had been dislocated and he was paralyzed in the hindquarters.  So I made the humane and impossible decision to have him put down last night around 12:30 am.  I went and held his little face in my hands and told him how I loved him.  I sang to him and let the doctor take away his pain.  

He was my little buddy and he is now sleeping on my sisters head.  His big spirit is going to be missed.  

Love you Dezi.  Take good care of Kiki.  

Ok...  I'm ready for a new start with happy things.  :) 

RIP Kiki

Dear Kikibird,



I don't know how to say goodbye to you.  You frustrated the hell out of me.  You made me angrier than any person alive.  I shook my head at your crazy and sometimes dangerous antics.  You made me cry.  You made me not talk to you for stretches of time.  You even made me roll my eyes on occasion. 

But, you also made me happier than I could have imagined.  You were my best friend for as long as I can remember.  We always said that because we moved so much growing up, we only had each other.  You made me laugh... gosh you made me laugh.  I envied you your heart.  You had the biggest heart in the whole wide world.  Your love for animals and the broken hearted and downtrodden probably rivaled Mother Theresa.  But, you always thought you could save them... and maybe that was because you couldn't save yourself. 

I don't know how to say goodbye to you.  I can't imagine not being able to call you when I'm in the car.  I can't imagine you not calling me fifty thousand times a day for some of the most inane things.  Me telling you... Kristin... I'm BUSY!  And you kept talking... I said... I'm BUSY!  you keep talking.  Finally... I say... didn't you hear me?  You always said... "yes, I'm just ignoring you."  ha! 

Who am I going to cook with?  Who am I going to tell... you're making it too complicated?  Who am I going to ask my stupid animal questions?  Who's going to help me look for Dezi when he goes missing? 

I am so blessed because I do have people who love me and who are holding me up while I am missing you.  And I love them ALL so very very much.  And I AM doing ok...  I know you are in a better place.  I know you are at peace, finally!  FINALLY!  And I am ok, knowing that. 

 I just miss you.  I miss the you that giggled with me and told me riddles.  I miss the you that talked football with me.  I miss the you that danced with me on my wedding day.  I miss the you that held my hand when we walked into a new school together.  I even miss the you that slapped me because you said I was hysterical.  (when we were 13 and 15 ish).  I miss the you that used to talk about our dreams with me.  I miss the you that had a smile that lit up a room. 



I miss the you that rubbed tushies with me. 

I miss the you that loved life. 

The you that cried because I was getting married... again.  ... not because you were sad but because you loved me. 

I miss the you that loved your daughter "to the moon and back" and told her often...  "You are the best thing I did"! 

I miss the you that shared my history...  I just don't know how to say goodbye to you. 

I love you very much Kiki!  "Kiki DO IT!"  I will miss you forever. 

Long time no Talk...

Well life has been a bit nutso around here.  We are in the final throws of our move back to Houston which means... packing packing packing.  Throw in Thanksgiving in Houston... an early Christmas in Lufkin with Polar Express and now a baby with a cold.  The movers come on Monday the 19th and unload us into our old/new house on the 21st.  So to say that life has been a bit of a whirlwind is an understatement. 

I will eventually catch up with the rest of our fabulous Disney trip and Thanksgiving and Polar Express though.  :-) 

 My two little elves.  :-) 

Jocelyn is 7 month's and sitting up.  I don't know how much she weighs but she's definitely chunking up a bit.  Her personality continues to be sweet and a small bit feisty.  She ADORES her big brother and it seems the feeling is quite mutual.  (help me remind them when they are teenagers). 

She is eating solids now on a regular basis and really seems to love green beans. 

Joe is too funny these days.  He is writing his name on a consistent basis and is honing his comedian skills.  He loves trains (as always) and always negotiating so that he gets his way. 

More to come.  :-)