Monday, February 8, 2010

Things no one tells you

No one tells you when you're planning your wedding that it's hard. No one tells you that the lows are really low because you already know the highs are super duper high.

I suppose if anyone told you how hard it is to merge two completely different sets of history's, ideals and memories together you wouldn't believe them. Everything is perfect in that "honeymoon stage". That's why they call it that. :) However, you probably have different ways of dealing with conflict, different ways of dealing with stress, different ways of prioritizing and probably different ways of making up.

No one tells you that you have to release a part of yourself to become "one" with your spouse. It's no longer about what YOU want. It's about what's best for your family...your new family. It just doesn't always completely align with what you individually want unless you are super duper lucky.

You have to find a way that works for both of you. Stronger together than you are as a single parts. I saw this on Sunday and somehow it just fit with how I was feeling.

We have often said we would not
choose to go back to some of those
early days of our marriage. Too often,
early love is a mirage built on day
dreams. Love deepens with understanding,
and varying viewpoints expand
and challenge one another. So many
things improve with age. A recent
advertisement read, "Things of true
quality need not fear the years. [time]
only improves them." So it is with marriage.
Those who abandon ship the first
time it enters a storm miss the calm
beyond. And the rougher the storms
weathered together, the deeper and
stronger real love grows.
Ruth Bell Graham

No one tells you, but you know... the harder you work for something the better it is.

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