Tuesday, June 10, 2014

What does 40 look like?

Exactly ten years ago I remember going to a Kimball Hill company picnic and my name sticker said "Jessica D" and I remember thinking ...  was this an omen?  We had just started dating and this was a big step.  He was so cute and we were so young.

This was a big birthday.  I was turning 30!  Oh my GOD!  30...  30 means responsibility and adult.  30 means grown up.  30 means marriage and family.  30 meant so much.

We celebrated at the melting pot with all of my friends and my family.  My sister had just had E and she made an appearance at my birthday celebration.  J sat next to me and I remember thinking my whole world was before me.

And it was.

In my thirties:

I bought a house
I got married
I got pregnant
I went to work with my family
I had an amazing little boy
I sold a house
I bought another house
I moved to Fort Worth
And bought yet another house
Learned more about decorative concrete
Watched my sister get married again.
Got pregnant again.
Ran a half marathon
Had my beautiful baby girl
Moved back to houston
Lost my sister
Took over administration of family business
Watched my son start kindergarten
Got separated and later divorced.
Began the process of learning how to be a single parent of two amazing, smart, strong willed, happy and well adjusted children.

Sooooo  as I turn 40...  I look back nostalgically at my 30's and wonder what's in front of me...  but on my actual birthday...  I'm not happy to be here.  I didn't think I would be doing it alone.  I didn't think I would be *here* as I start the next chapter of my life.  Soooooo  I think I'll celebrate 40 when I am in a different place... When I finally have a handle on this single parenting thing and I've fully got the hang of my new normal.

I know that my future is bright.  I know, without a doubt, that the best is yet to come.  But I also know that this is my journey.  And I know that this journey is teaching me things that I will need in the future.  I am blessed beyond measure with the things that I have and in about six month's, I will love celebrating my 40th birthday. 


Sunday, June 1, 2014

Follow Up... Tucker

So the previous owner was late to bring him over but we kept texting and around 9:30 she let me know she was on her way.  The kids were so eager that we were waiting in the driveway.  When Tucker rounded the corner he started pulling on his leash.  He literally drug Betty the rest of the way.  
The kids were ecstatic.  Betty was crying.  I felt bad for her.  We talked a bit about him and how she could come and visit him anytime.  She signed the contract that released him from her ownership
 and I gave her the check. 
 He quickly found his way to my bed. 
 and woke Joe up this morning with lots of kisses and snuggles. 

 still thinks he's a lap dog. 

So, I think he is happy happy happy to be home.  :) 

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Tucker Davis

About six weeks ago I had a knock on my door at 10:00 pm.  It was my neighbors, Larry and Angie.  I opened the door to this face.  He was found wandering the streets and Anna, my other neighbor had found him.  She had walked around for two hours trying to find his owner.  Then Larry wandered for another two hours to find the owner.  There was no one looking for him. 

They didn't know what to do with him...  so I offered to keep him in my backyard until the next day.  I had a kennel in my garage leftover from Murphey and so I brought it out for him.  He immediately went into the kennel with no problems.  I thought he would cry but he didn't. 

I went up to bed and checked on him a couple of times.  The next morning I let him out of his kennel and he came inside.  He immediately laid down. 
It was like he fit. 

Joe and Jocelyn were taken with him right away.  I took him to the vet the next day to see if he was chipped.  He was not.   He did not have any tag on his collar.  She estimated him to be around 2 years old and well taken care of. 

I looked for signs and scoured websites to see if anyone was looking for him.  Nothing.  I was going to post signs but I figured if anyone really wanted him back....  there would be signs. 

My kids got more attached.  He jumps on on their bed when they are trying to go to bed.  He plays with them when they are in the backyard.  He thinks he's a lap dog. 
He starts off with one paw... and then the other paw...  and then he's on your lap.  With a smile. 

I bought him a furminator and some toys.  I checked on good food for him and his coat and well being.  We bought him toys for the backyard and gave him his heartworm medicine and his flea and tick meds. 

Six weeks go by and it's Memorial day weekend.  Larry has gotten used to getting home and coming to visit him.  He walks him several times a day.  And on Memorial Day Sunday he was walking Tucker (what we named him)....  when he made his way down the street next to mine and someone called out to him...  "Flash!  where've you been?"  People ran out and were scratching his head....  Larry didn't know what to do.  He asked them why they hadn't been looking for him. 

The owners said...  "well...  we figured that he'd been picked up by the pound or someone had him."  Larry was flabbergasted.  He asked them about him...  and they said he was five years old and had had all of his shots.  They asked him who had been keeping him and Larry said...  a young mom with two young kids.  He said..  "they must be attached to him so they can keep him!"  Larry was so relieved.  So was I when I heard. 

FOUR DAYS go by and the doorbell rings.  It's the woman.  She says "you ready for us to take him back?" 

I just looked at her.  I said... no, we were told that he was ours since my kids and I were attached.  She said... yeah... well we talked about it and decided it wasn't a good idea.  She hemmed and hawed for awhile and admitted they had a lot of money tied up in him.  I offered to buy him from her.  She hemmed and hawed a bit more.  Finally I had to get his old collar and was putting it on him with tears streaming down my face I told her that if she loved him to get him micro chipped and get him a collar with his name on it and to fix her damn fence!  I slammed the door in her face. 

The next morning I left this note on her door

And Larry left a note too. 

I heard nothing so I had to assume that I wasn't getting him back.  I had to tell my kids.  I didn't want to tell my kids.  I told them after Joe's baseball game and they cried.  Oh did they cry.  Broke my heart!  I drove by their house several times and he would always jump up on the fence and just look at me. 

Today...  Saturday...  almost a week after they knew where he was...  she called me and she's willing to let me adopt him if my offer still stands.  I said absolutely.  So I will pay her $200 (which I think it was about money the whole time)...  and I get my tucker back.  My kids get their tucker back. 

I am sitting here waiting..  waiting on my kids and waiting on their dog.  I am so excited! 

Welcome to the family officially... Tucker Davis! 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014


I am flying to Wisconsin. I am flying to Wisconsin in March..... When it is a balmy 13 degrees... Which is 8 degrees warmer than it was yesterday. Lol. But this has nothing to do with hope..... Ha!

I just read an article on hope. It says that we have a shortage of hope. Hope is not to be mistaken for optimism which is the general feeling that things will work out well. Hope is a game plan. It is a plan for good things to come your way and for how you are going to get there.

We can't just dream about good things happening.... We have to learn ways to MAKE good things happen. And then have confidence in your ability to make it happen. Whether it's make a new friend out of that new girl at the gym, find that new job that makes your days worthwhile or get over that person who brings you nothing but pain and heartache.

Is hope directly tied to self esteem and believing in yourself? And if it is.... How do we work on our own self esteem? Because really.... People can tell you that you are capable but if YOU don't believe it.... It won't happen.

I think I have always been optimistic but I'm not sure I've been hopeful. I hold onto things for too long which hinders my ability to set up my game plan for tomorrow. I keep talking about doing a vision board for things I want in my life in one year, five years and so on. I suppose my lack of hope has prevented me from doing it. That and what if I do it and then none of things on it come true? So if I just don't do it.... Then I won't have things to not come true.... Follow me?

Boy is that self defeatist. 😱.

My past does not dictate who I am or who I am going to be! My New Years resolution was to be authentic to me and what I want. I am doing ok with that. I have had to stop myself though and say.... No! That's NOT what you really want or think. Say what you really think. I don't do it all the time though as it's not natural to me and my people pleasing.

So.... I am hopeful for the future... And now I am going to put together my game plan. :). Anyone wanna be hopeful with me?

Friday, February 14, 2014

It's really Valentines day?

Where is the time going?  Oh right... in week by week increments.  :)  I cannot believe that it's February 14th and the last time I posted was about my cruise.  I haven't even covered Christmas. 

Truthfully, I haven't even downloaded the pictures from Christmas yet.  Time seems to get away from me.  On the weeks I have my kids... life involves a tight schedule from sunup to sundown....  wake up, get ready, get the kids ready, out the door.  Work all day.  Slide in Crossfit...  pick up kids.  Dinner, homework, bath, tv and bed.  By the time I get those two monkey's into bed and asleep...  I'm exhausted.  Wash, rinse repeat.  :) 

The weeks that I don't have my kids... I try to schedule things that I can't get done with them.  So....  life is a bit hectic right now.  I think it may settle down but then again...  something new will upset the apple cart and I'll revamp again.  :)  I guess that's the circle of life though. 

My dad is semi retired now... which means he comes in one hour later than he used to.  He's even walking to work three days out of the week.  I have officially (as of last saturday) moved into his office.  It's nothing more than symbolic at this point...  but it's kind of nice.  I am more productive as I'm not interrupted as much.  There has been a little bit of resistance but most are happy to see the changes that are coming down the pipe. 

I have quite a bit of travel on the agenda for work too...  trips to Fort Worth and one to Wisconsin (in march... brrrrrrrr). 

Anyway...  I'll get those pictures downloaded... I promise.  :)  But for now... life is good.  I like my new normal. 

Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Cruise

Embarkation lunch in the dining room. 
First Formal night in the show lounge
Grand Turk
Pinnacle Grill
San Juan, Puerto Rico
St. Maarten
My office on occasion. 
Half Moon Cay
Always missing my kids. 
Always missing my sister.  Remembering her on the anniversary of her death. 
Getting to see my two other sisters after the cruise.  :)

It was a great vacation... very relaxing. 

Santa's Wonderland