Friday, August 15, 2008

At What Point...

Does the love for your pet become selfishness?  At what point does wanting to keep him alive become "not in the best interest" of the pet?  

I have the most beautiful cat.  He found me when I moved into my apartment right before meeting Jason.  He is a long haired siamese who wants to climb inside my skin.  His favorite place to sleep is ON me.  He slept on my belly the entire time I was pregnant, enduring the endless kicks of Mr. Joey.  

He head butts me, he nuzzles me and occasionally he bats me for good reason.  

He also has had a small problem that he pee's on my couch or on my bed.  :(  Okay, okay... this is a big problem.  But, we have gotten by with washing the duvet, the down comforter and the couch cushion covers.  I have sprayed down the foam so many times that the smell of the spray actually doesn't quite do it anymore.  BUT, for the love of my kitty... I would not give up on him.  

About two month's ago... maybe three...  mr. Frankie was diagnosed with cancer.  Right around his intestine and he was on prednisone for a while but it wasn't shrinking it.  So, I stopped forcing the evil little pills on him.  

He has continued to get skinnier and skinnier and skinnier. BUT he still nuzzled, he still head butted, he still slept on me (he still pee'd) so I figured that he was getting skinny, not feeling great but not in any great pain.  

Well last night...  he pee'd ON us while we were in bed.  Well he pee'd on the down comforter;... but we were in it.  I woke up, for some reason, and found it right away...  and quickly changed out the comforter and threw it in the wash...  but I couldn't go back to sleep.  

I can't help but feel that I am doing this regal animal a disservice by keeping him alive.  I guess I kind of hoped he would be comfortable until he goes onto the rainbow bridge and his greater reward...  but am I hurting him?  He has loved me too much to watch him suffer.  

I am leaving for Houston in about twenty minutes and he has enough food and water.. but I am terrified that I am going to come home and he will have died without me.  (Insert tears here)...  and I thought about bringing him with me...  but a four hour car ride is not much better.  

Man.  I know that you all are going to feel sorry for me...  (thank you!)...  and I know that there isn't anything that you can do.  Well that's wrong.  You can tell me that I did the right thing by keeping him around.  That my love for him was not selfish.  That he knows that I love him.  



Lawfrog said...

It is never easy to decide when enough is enough for our pets, who are really family.

When I was married to my ex-h, he brought a cat into our marriage that he had for many years. Tika was her name and she was a beautiful Maine Coone. She was diagnosed with cancer, which we found out when we noticed she was bleeding from her nose.

We kept her alive, no treatment because it would have only made her suffer, until one night, we could no longer take her howls of pain any longer. I had been wanting to put her to sleep before she was in really bad pain, but my ex-h just wasn't ready and I respected that.

We drove her to the all-night vet clinic in the very early morning hours (2 a.m. or so) to have her put down. She died on the way to the vet, which was only a few miles from our home.

Your little one will let you know when it's time. And he will always know how much you love him.

Viula said...

i know how hard this is for you. twice in my life i have struggled with this decision. once, i really think we did wait to long. the second time around, we *knew* it was time. you'll know. think about all the things that he loves to do and when he can no longer enjoy those, let him have peace.

the memory of the joy of having an animal you love in your life will eventually take over the sadness you feel right now.

{{{hus}}} it was so good to see you and Joe yesterday. what a welcome surprise!!

Ingram Gang said...

That is hard. And you are not selfish; you just love your cat!
Jesus cares about your cat too. I'm certain of that!

dana said...


Laura said...

I'm so sorry Jess. [hugs]