Friday, June 18, 2010


I was talking about marriage and relationships with some friends of mine last night.  They were celebrating two years together and somehow we got on the topic of relationships.  

As most of you know, marriage is not easy.  It takes work.  Some things come easy.  Others are WAY hard.  You are taking two people with completely different backgrounds, baggage, histories and turning them into one.  

When Jason and I were dating, things were relatively easy.  We lived in Clear Lake near the water which both of us love and have flowing through our veins.  this was easy.  The salt water and air fueled me and revived me.  The bay waters beckoned Jason to "come and fish with me".  We would come home from work and set out in the DaM dingy and bring ab ottle of wine and a couple of beers for him and explore the outermost edges of Clear Lake.  It was romantic.  It was whimsical.  

We lived in our cute little house with a *cute* little mortgage with a white picket fence.  We had two cats, one dog and everything we really needed. 

We planned a wedding.  A wonderful wedding with all of the trimmings.  I literally can say that each and every detail was planned by me.  Most of it went just the way I imagined.  We went on a fairy tale honeymoon and I have the memories to prove it.  


Exactly a year later we were pregnant with our first child.  I had an easy pregnancy, all things considered.  I loved to complain but mostly for the comic value in it all.  :-) who me?  attention?  nawhhhh.  I was pregnant EVERYwhere... by the way!  Even my EARS were fat!  oh my!

I can literally go on and on and on. 

We have now been married for almost five years.  Together almost six and a half.  The *newness* has worn off.  It's not all quite as romantic...  we live in a different city without that salt air or water... without my family to pick up and babysit at the drop of a hat.  With some friends, new friends, great friends...  but not as many as I had in Houston.  We work together... all day... every day.  

We encountered challenge.  We encountered experiences where we had to *deal* with strife and differences we had in looking at the world.  I had an epiphany.  And it's one that is so stinkin simple.  It's nothing new.  It's nothing I shouldn't have known.  But sometimes, the simple things are the things that elude us so easily, no?  

It's not about his way.  It's not about MY way.  It's about OUR way and God's way.  It doesn't matter how my family dealt with things.  It doesn't matter how his family deals with things.  What does matter is how WE deal with things and how WE get through them.   Less black, less pink... more mauve. 

I love my family.  I love my parents and my sister.  I love his family... his parents and his sister.  But I am now the maternal unit of my own family.  What is in their best interest is what matters.  (sorry mom and dad!)  

Jason and I went from living somewhat separate (yet together all the time) lives  to finally living together.  We are very like minded and we have grown in our relationship with each other and with God.  We have started exercising alone and together.  We get home each night and load Joe up in his bike trailer and go for a bike ride, usually ending at the pool.  It's our together time.  

So, five years now...  and we don't have that "honeymoon" idealism... but the reality is SOOO much better!  

I love you sweetheart!  I am SO glad you are my husband!  

I'll go into all the reasons you are a fabulous father later.  :)  


Delia said...

My mom always said there is a special place in heaven for couples who work together. It's not easy! Good post!

Marianne said...

I agree with Delia, great post!!