Rules for Dating This Single Mom

I don't usually talk about my dating life. Some things I like to keep private out of respect for everyone involved.
But I thought I'd run down some rules for dating this single mom.  Now this goes in conjunction with Joe’s rules for dating mom… “hold her hand and give her lots of kisses…”! 

1. My kids come first.
Period, end of story.
If they don't like you, you must be some kind of shitty person. Come on, they're 3 and 7. It's not hard to get in good with my kids. 

Also- know that if you've met them, that's a HUGE deal for me. I will not bring just anyone around my kids.

“The most difficult part of dating as a single mom is deciding how much

risk your own child’s heart is worth.”  Dan Pearce

2. I'm not expecting you to take the role of their father.
My kids have a dad. I want you to be a friendly figure to them.

I want you to teach them things that me or their dad can't.
But never think I want you to step in as their father.

3. No jealousy allowed.
My kids are loud, rowdy, opinionated and they love their mama.
Don't be jealous of their need or love for me. Those kids are everything to me. The right guy (or girl, if I so choose to swing that way ;P) will not see them as "threats", but instead as a blessing, for they have made me into the woman I am.

4. My ex will always be around.
We co-parent the best we can. Expect it.

5. I like to workout.
I like to go to the gym and I like to live a healthy lifestyle.
I want you to want to do these things with me.

6. I'm emotionally damaged.
That's from years of life circumstances. I am not perfect nor do I expect you to be.
But I promise to try my hardest not to be bitter and not to associate any of the past with any of the present. Just know that I'm constantly a work in progress.

8. I try not to stress over things.
I'm a pretty laid back person. If you stress over every single thing, your energy will just bring me down and begin to affect my mood.
Some things are not worth getting so worked up over.

9. Laughing is my favorite.
YOU MUST MAKE ME LAUGH. This is a deal breaker.  Period.  End of fairy tale.

10. I am like 98% sure I'm done having kids.
I'm not ruling it out ENTIRELY, but it will take a lot of convincing and talking to open this baby shop back up.

11. I want you to WANT to do things with the kids and me.
No, going to fucking LegoLand or kids birthday parties is NOT fun, but I'm a parent, and that's what you do; shit you don't want to do so you can see those precious smiles on their faces.
You suggesting to take them places and actually want to help me out (another set of hands is always nice to have as a single mother) will earn you more bonus points than the biggest bouquet of roses ever will.

12. I can be a little rough around the edges, be extremely sarcastic and sometimes find humor in inappropriate things.
But take me to meet your mom and I'm the sweetest ‘used to be’ northern gal ever.
I promise not to say "fucking LegoLand" in front of your parents. I'm a lady, dammit. ;P

13.  Must love to travel!
Bonus points for picking up on a “kid free weekend” and running away with me.  Hold my hand and give me lots of kisses.  ;) 

14.  Don't fall in love too quickly. 
The quickest way to get me to head for the hills is to get serious right away.  I mean *I* know I'm awesome (duh)...  but let's take time and get to know each other before we start planning the monogram. 

What are your rules for dating as a single mother??