Dear Joseph

courtesy of Monkey Tree Photography

Son. Angel. Poodin pop. Poodle toots. Snicker doodle. Sweet potato. My heart. The reason I am a mommy.

All of these are names I have for you. When I say that you're the reason I'm a mommy.... That means you made me a mommy first. This day, five years ago.... You made me a mommy. Your mommy. Fallible.... Absolutely! Insecure.... Sometimes. Silly.... Probably. Angry... It's the nature of the beast. Learning.... Always. And always loving you more than I thought possible. 

Five years ago I awakened suspecting we would share a birthday. I remember the excitement, the anxiety, the wonder and the eagerness. I remember being crushed I couldn't deliver you the way god intended but rather by the way you needed.

Now I look back on that day and think.... Man.... I can't believe how my world turned on its axis in that one moment.

I've done a lot of amazing things in this lifetime. Experienced adventures many dream of. But truly... The best thing I have ever done is create you and your sister.

Seeing you grow into a smart, gentle, precocious, handsome, funny, entertaining young man.... A young man who takes others feelings into account. Who asks questions and seeks answers. Who isn't afraid to try things. Who is quick to hug and say you love. And you do love unabashedly! And those qualities... And the man you will become... Are what I'm most proud of.

I'm proud of YOU! May you continue to grow into an even more amazing man with the tutelage of your mother and your father and your sister and your grandparents and aunt and uncles and cousins. Who's love for you is limitless.

I love you mostest and more my little man!!!

Your Mommy forever and ever!