Friday, March 20, 2015

Change is uncomfortable

Someone wise told me recently, (I'm looking at you, Chris Sullivan), that Change is Uncomfortable.  Which is very true but also ironic because life is all about changes.  We change and grow every day.  Sometimes the changes are so small you don't see them until someone points it out to you month's or even years down the road.  And others are huge straight away and then smaller changes happen as a result. 
I work in an office of very young women and a few old men.  (ha!).  But with the girls I have talked about how much I changed through my years. 
From the age of 21 to 25.  Shoot... I graduated college and got married (mistake #1), started a career, got divorce #1 and moved to Texas. 
From 25 - 30 I followed my dream and went to work at sea.  I started with the kids and within 2.5 years I was Cruise Director.  Not something I ever thought I could do.  I saw things that will forever change my view of the world. 
Rio de Janeiro
I got to see the "dude with the big hat" ie the Pope in Venice. 
this one speaks to my heart!  This is in the Vatican.  Amazing, huh?
Cap Ferrat
 Just one of the "Cruise staff" shots on formal night. 
But I think about how much change there was during THAT time and wow!  I grew up.  I learned obvious lessons like... there's a whole big world out there full of adventures and challenges and people that have their own changes going on.
I learned that every single person has a story. 
I learned that people really like to be heard. 
 I learned that I can do gangway with a hangover. whomp whomp  
Standing atop Corcovado in Rio with your arms outstretched by the big Jesus statue is breathtaking. 
I learned that people are the best and worst thing about traveling. 
I was taught to stop and breath and recognize where you are (IN China and not Texas at the time) and really to BE present is the greatest gift to yourself.
I learned that you can always learn new dining etiquette and a new way to tie a scarf...And a sarong. 
I learned that grown men DO fight over a game of shuffleboard and that stella will get Sol a cup of coffee when he yells at her across the showroom. 
 I learned what it was like to have a date in Hong Kong and Shanghai... and Rio... and Buenos Aires. kiss under a what felt like a million stars. 
I grew up and into the woman I am today.  What a blessing. 
From 30-40...  in case you missed it... 
I bought a house
I got married
I got pregnant
I went to work with my family
I had an amazing little boy
I sold a house
I bought another house
I moved to Fort Worth
And bought yet another house
Learned more about decorative concrete
Watched my sister get married again.
Got pregnant again.
Ran a half marathon
Had my beautiful baby girl
Moved back to houston
Lost my sister
Took over administration of family business
Watched my son start kindergarten
Got separated and later divorced.
Began the process of learning how to be a single parent of two amazing, smart, strong willed, happy and well adjusted children.
So change, although uncomfortable at times, is necessary.  It's cathartic.  It's what makes us grow into new people.. no!  Not new... but better people.  People that understand that sometimes you have to hurt to move on.  Sometimes the greatest joys are born out of despair.  And each person that we come across ...  they have something to teach us.  No matter the age... no matter the gender... no matter the race.  We can learn something from everyone even if its what NOT to do.  And just because we were a certain type of way in the past... it does not dictate who we will be in the future. 
Going forward, I want to remember to be present.  To enjoy and savor my now and recognize that even if it's uncomfortable NOW I will get used to it and I will be better for it.  I like who I am and I love who I will be.  Change...  is fantastically uncomfortable. 

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