Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Reality bites....

So, I have always been part of a family that believes in "ostriching"...  by this I mean, if I don't want to deal with something, I stick my head in the sand and pretend that it doesn't exist.  :)  

It works for me.  It's fun.  

The only problem is that when reality sets in, sometimes it catches up to you.  

I think I have been pretending for about six month's that this move just wouldn't happen.  It did.  I am here.  

Since the last week of July, I have been "playing" with my mom.  She has literally been my sidekick, I have been her shadow, she has been mine.  She helped me with the movers in Houston, she helped me with the move on this end.  She unpacked every single box with me.  We have placed every single picture, each little item, designed every tiny nook and cranny.  My husband has been VERY tolerant and somewhat relieved I am sure... as he hasn't had to worry about any of it.  

But now...  as it almost looks like a *home* and she is set to go home...  the fun is ending.  Okay... time over... lets US go back HOME to Houston.  Playing house is only fun as long as the playing continues, no?  

Reality is setting in that come this Sunday, Jason and I with the baby will be heading home to Fort Worth.  And I don't like it.  I don't like it one little bit.  

I know that I worked on cruise ships for five years and was in college before that.  I know that I have had a life without my parents and my sister. I know that I can do it.  I just don't want to.  My mom is my best friend and the thought of her NOT being ten minutes away just... well... it just plain sucks!  I know that this is going to be good for my marriage, good for my *new* family.  I know that financially it's GREAT for us.  I know that this is what we NEED.  

My heart is just sad.  I miss my family already and I haven't even sprung my mother loose.  I miss my friends tremendously!  I miss the ability to call any of them and say... hey, let's go walk.  Let's go to the Tot spot.  Lets go to Olive Garden for lunch.  I miss the traffic.  I miss my house.  I miss my neighbors.  

I know that in time, this will become my *home* and that this will feel normal.  It's just that now...  well now...  Reality Bites! 


3 comments:

Davenports said...

I'm sorry, honey. Reality does, indeed, bite. Hang in there and look for the adventures!

dana said...

hugs!!!

Lawfrog said...

It will get easier. I know what you mean about missing your mom - my mom is my best friend too. I lived in the same town with her and then moved to Houston in 2002. There are 1800 miles between us now and it's not easy. But, it is good for you to be somewhere new and make a life for the family you've created with your DH and adorable little guy.

Not easy, but good for you:) Hang tough.